傲立人生

孔　雁 译

Standing Tall

A little person teaches a big lesson

By Darryl Kramer

　　I was grocery shopping recently in my hometown of Canandaigua, N.Y., when I heard a young voice boom from across the aisle. "Mom, come here, you've gotta see this! There's this lady here my size!"
　　The mortified mother rushed to a boy she called Mikey, who looked to be about seven; then she turned to me to apologize. "Oh, I'm so sorry."
　　I smiled and told her, "It's okay." Then I looked at her wide-eyed son and said, "Hi, Mikey, I'm Darryl Kramer. How are you?"
　　He studied me from head to toe, and asked, "Are you a little mommy?"
　　"Yes, I have a son," I answered.
　　"Why are you so little?" he asked.
　　"It's the way God made me," I said. "Some people are little. Some are tall. I'm just not going to grow any bigger." After about five more minutes of answering questions -- "How do you drive a car? Where do you work? Do you ride a bike?" -- I shook Mikey's hand, and he returned to his mother.
　　My life as a little person is filled with stories like that. I enjoy talking to children and explaining why I look different from their parents. It has taken many years of developing my confidence to be able to do that.
　　It takes only one glance to see my uniqueness. I stand three feet, nine inches tall. I am an achondroplasia dwarf, which is a person having very short limbs. My eight-year-old son, Jimmy, is average height, as is my husband, George. Like most achondroplasia dwarfs, I have two average-height parents, as well as an average-height brother. When I was born, my mother was told in the hospital that I was a dwarf. Not knowing a lot about dwarfism, my mom's main concern was my health. Our family doctor put her mind at ease when he told her he felt I would not have any major medical concerns. He was right.
　 　When I was growing up, my parents encouraged me to do all the things the kids around me did. So when my neighbors got two-wheel bikes, I got a two-wheel bike. When they roller-skated, I roller-skated. Our neighbors looked out for me and treated me as a normal person. One built a tree house with the steps leading to it close together. When his dad asked him why, he said, "Because Darryl's got to get up here."
　 　I didn't realize how short I was until I started school. There, a few kids picked on me, calling me names. Then I knew. After that, I began to hate the first day of school each year. I didn't know who was new and would gape as I struggled to climb the school bus stairs. Some of the kids would point and say, "Look at that kid. Look at her." Boys could be especially mean. One once put me against a wall in the gym and shouted, "You're a midget. Do you know that? Why are you like that?"
　 　As time went on, I just tried to smile and accept the fact that I was going to be noticed my whole life. I was determined to make my uniqueness an advantage rather than a disadvantage. My friends became increasingly protective. They'd help me up the bus steps. If people were cruel, they would take them aside and correct them.
　 　What I lacked in height, I made up for in personality -- my ability to laugh, even at myself. For example, one time I was reaching into the washing machine at my parents' house to grab the wet clothes. I fell all the way in and yelled for Mother, who was sitting nearby reading the paper. Watching feet flying everywhere, she chuckled and said, "I should leave you in there." I laughed with her.
　 　I'm 47 now, and the stares have not diminished as I've grown older. People ask my friends if I live in a dollhouse. They look in disbelief when they see me get out of my car on the driver's side. During those times, I try to keep a good attitude. When people are rude, I remind myself, "Look what else I have -- a great family, nice friends."
　 　And it's the children's questions that make my life special. "Why are you so short? How old are you? Are you a mommy?" When I talk with children, they leave content that their questions have been answered. My hope is that in taking time with them, I will encourage them to accept their peers, whatever size and shape they come in, and treat them with respect.
　 　I have a wonderful, loving husband and a happy, healthy son. But even with all the support, I'm still occasionally afraid. Last year I met a short-statured mother with an average-height teenage son. He had run away from home because he couldn't take the teasing he endured at school. I began to worry the same thing might happen with Jimmy. A few months later, a little girl in Jimmy's class began teasing him about having a short mom. She finally asked, "Why is your mom so short?"
　　 Without pausing, he replied, "Because God made her that way. She doesn't have to reach over to pick up the laundry like your mom does."

傲立人生

——小个子教给我们的大道理

〔美国〕达丽尔•克莱默

　　一天，我正在家乡，纽约州的卡南代瓜市购物，突然过道的对面传来一声稚嫩的声音。“妈妈，快来看，你看！这位女士的个头和我差不多！”
　　窘迫的母亲立刻跑到那个叫米奇的男孩身边——他看起来约有七岁，然后转过身来向我道歉。“噢，真是对不起。”
　　我微笑着对她说，“没关系。”然后，我看着她那瞪大了眼睛的儿子，说，“嗨，米奇，我叫达丽尔•克莱默。你好吗？”
　　他把我从头到脚地仔仔细细打量了一番，问道，“你是一个小妈妈吗？”
　　“是的，我有一个儿子。”我回答道。
　　“你为什么长得这么小呢？”他问道。
　　“上帝想让我这个样子啊，”我说。“有些人是小个头，有些人是大个头。我就是不会再长高了。”我回答了他五分多钟的问题——“你怎么开车呢？你在哪里工作？你会骑自行车吗？”——最后我和米奇握了握手，他回到了母亲身边。
　　作为一个小个子的人，我的生活中充满了这样的故事。我喜欢和孩子们交谈，向他们解释为什么我和他们的父母看起来不一样。我花了很多年才培养起信心做到这一点。
　　只需一眼，人们就能看出我的与众不同之处。我只有三英尺九英寸高，是一个患软骨发育不全症的侏儒，四肢短小。八岁的儿子吉米和我的丈夫乔治，都有着普通人的身高。像大多数患有软骨发育不全症的侏儒一样，我的父母身高正常，我的兄弟也很正常。我刚出生的时候，在医院妈妈就被告知我是侏儒。因为对侏儒所知不多，妈妈最担心的是我的健康。我们的家庭医生告诉她，他感觉我不会有什么大的健康问题。他说得没错。
　　在我成长的过程中，父母鼓励我去做周围的孩子所能做的一切事情。所以当我的邻居们有了二轮自行车的时候，我也得到了一辆二轮自行车。他们轮滑，我也轮滑。邻居们都很关心我，他们都像对待正常人一样对待我。有个孩子在树上搭建了一座小房子，而上树用的梯子踏板的间距非常近。当他的爸爸问他原因的时候，他说，“因为达丽尔要到这儿来。”
　　直到上学以后我才意识到自己到底有多矮。在学校里，有几个孩子总是爱捉弄我，骂我。从那以后，我开始痛恨每年开学的第一天。我不知道谁会是新来的学生，会在我艰难地爬校车时盯着我看。有些孩子会指着我说，“看那个小孩。看她。”男孩子尤其可恶。有一次一个男孩把我推到体育馆的墙上，大声喊道，“你是一个小矮人。你知道吗？你怎么长成那样？”
　　随着时间的流逝，我开始努力微笑，并且接受这个事实，那就是我一辈子都会被别人注意。我决心让我的与众不同之处变成一个优势，而不是劣势。朋友们越来越注意保护我。他们会帮助我登上校车。如果有人要伤害我，我的朋友们就会把他们拉到一边教训他们。
　　在身高上的缺陷，我会努力用人格来弥补——我笑对世事，甚至自嘲。比如说，有一天我在父母家去够洗衣机里的湿衣服，结果一下子栽到了洗衣机里，不得不大声喊妈妈救命。她正坐在附近看报纸。看见我在洗衣机里双脚乱蹬，她吃吃地笑着说，“我应该让你呆在那儿的。”我便和她一起笑起来。
　　现在我已经47岁了，随着年龄的增长，别人注视我的眼光丝毫没有减少。有些人会问我的朋友我是不是住在玩具屋里。看见我从自己车里驾驶座的位置下来的时候，他们都显出一副难以置信的神色。每当这时，我就会努力保持一个良好的态度。当人们对我粗鲁的时候，我就会提醒自己，“看我拥有什么——很棒的家庭，很好的朋友们。”
　　是孩子们的问题让我的生活与众不同。“你为什么这么矮？你多大了？你是个妈妈吗？”我和孩子们谈话后，他们都能满意地离开，因为他们的问题得到了回答。我希望通过和他们的交往，能够鼓励他们接受他们的同伴。不管对方是什么样的个头和体型，都能够尊重对方。
　　我有一个出色的、充满爱心的丈夫和一个快乐、健康的儿子。但是尽管有着这许多的支持，偶尔我还是会感到害怕。去年我遇到了一个侏儒妈妈和她身高正常的儿子。她的儿子曾经离家出走，因为他无法忍受在学校里受到的那些嘲笑。我开始担心同样的事情会发生在我的儿子吉米的身上。几个月后，吉米班上一个小女孩开始嘲笑他有一个矮个子的妈妈。她最后问道，“为什么你妈妈这么矮？”
　　吉米没有任何迟疑，他回答说，“因为上帝让她这样子的。她用不着像你妈妈那样够洗衣机里的衣服还得弯腰。”