译林出版社

首页 » 译林论坛 » 翻译在线 » HOW FEAR CAME(galas试译)
galas - 2004-12-1 21:51:00
原著共八个故事,作者为Rudyard Kipling 。中文  据英国MACMILIAN AND CO.,LIMITED1920年版译出。
【吉卜林,R.】 (Rudyard Kipling,1865~1936) 英国小说家、诗人。1907年度的诺贝尔文学奖获得者。他生于印度孟买,父亲是作家。7岁回英国受教育,17岁大学毕业后从事报刊编辑和文学创作活动。曾到印度、中国、日本和美国等地游历,1896年后回国定居。吉卜林作品多反映帝国主义的扩张精神。其作品有短篇小说集《三个士兵》、《加兹比一家的故事》(1888),诗集《七海》(1896)、《五国》(1903),长篇小说《吉姆》(1901)和《各种各样的人》(1917)等。他认为征服和统治世界是“白种人的重任”,号召人们远涉重洋去开拓扩张,且多方为英帝国的政策辩护。即使在以描绘自然界和动物心理着称的《丛林故事》(1894)和《丛林故事续篇》(1895)中,他也力图表明生活就是一场掠夺和生存斗争。因此,他素有“帝国主义诗人”之称。

约瑟夫·拉迪亚德·吉卜林,作家和诗人,英国短篇小说大师1865年生于印度孟买,父亲是艺术学校的校长、艺术家、巴基斯坦拉合尔博物馆馆长,对吉卜林后来的写作影响很大。

吉卜林6岁时被送回英国上学,在一家儿童寄养所生活5年。他从小就熟悉印度的自然风光和民间传说。后来他把那里的可憎生活写进了《黑羊咩咩》(1888)。接着他又进了一所培养军队土兵的寄宿学校。吉卜林17岁时又重返印度,在一家地方报纸当记者。记者生涯十分艰辛,但为他以后的文学创作提供了素材。他担任报纸编辑,并开始发表作品。他在印度期间出版了《歌曲类篡》《山中的平凡故事》和另外几个短篇小说。1889年回到英国,并在第二年发表小说《消失的光芒》。1892年他与一美国姑娘结婚后移居美国。在美期间发表了《休莽之书》和《林莽之书续集》等。1896年携眷返英。1897外出版《勇敢的船长们》,1899年发表了《斯托基公司》并开始写作在美期间就已构思好的《故事集》(《如此如此》)。后来,他周游亚非欧美很多国家。1936年在英国逝世。

    林一生出版过8部诗集,4部长篇小说,21部短篇小说和故事集。此外还有大量的散文、杂感、随笔、游记、回忆录等等。吉卜林还为孩子们写下了《山精灵普克》和《报酬与仙女》以及一本儿童读本《英国史》。由于吉卜林在作品中颂扬帝国主义战争,他作为严肃作家的产誉受到损害,但他的儿童作品一直受到人们的欢迎。1907年,他因“观察的能力、新颖的想象、雄浑的思想和杰出的叙事才能”荣获诺贝尔文学奖。

 前言:找了些作者的资料,先翻译这么多,要知道我是靠文曲星一个一个查词的,再不就用金山词霸。这篇文章我有50%左右的词不认识。工作量可想而知的大。还好多亏了有现代化的工具,感谢科学进步啊!当然我会保证译文质量的,虽说key的译文对我几乎有了先入为主的影响。我在努力克服,这不等于我在改她的汉译,我是在重译,但肯定参考了key的译文。
   根据一种翻译理论即翻译是创作,我把该文发表在“创作园地”和“翻译在线”两个版块里,希望大家多多指教。还有,galas不是打字极快那种人,也不是可以狂上网的,这第一个故事恐怕得费点时间贴完。望谅解。
 
HOW FEAR CAME
 The stream is shrunk--the pool is dry,
 
And we be comrades, thou and I;
 
With fevered jowl and dusty flank
 
Each jostling each along the bank;
 
And by one drouthy fear made still,
 
Forgoing thought of quest or kill.
 
Now 'neath his dam the fawn may see,
 
The lean Pack-wolf as cowed as he,
 
And the tall buck, unflinching, note
 
The fangs that tore his father's throat.
 
The pools are shrunk--the streams are dry,
 
And we be playmates, thou and I,
 
Till yonder cloud--Good Hunting!--loose
 
The rain that breaks our Water Truce.
 
 
 
 
The Law of the Jungle--which is by far the oldest law in the world--has arranged for almost every kind of accident that may befall the Jungle People, till now its code is as perfect as time and custom can make it. You will remember that Mowgli spent a great part of his life in the Seeonee Wolf-Pack, learning the Law from Baloo, the Brown Bear; and it was Baloo it
 
 
 
森林故事(又译丛林故事续集)
            何来恐惧
      溪水干,池水涸
        同命相连,你和我
        脸面热,尘土扬
         拥拥挤挤在河畔
        干旱的恐惧仍留置
        觅求和捕获正远行
        他坝下的小动物也许能见到
        瘪瘦的群狼也象他一样不安
        健壮的牡鹿坚定的注视着
        尖牙撕裂的他父亲的喉咙
        池水干,溪水涸
        相互结伴,你和我
        直到远方的云儿现—捕杀!—正式开始!
        雨水冲毁了我们的和平时刻
 
     世界上最古老最遥远的森林守则已经摆平了几乎森林居民能遇到的各种事故。直到现在它的核心还是如时间一样完美并被规律的习惯所制订着。你会记起莫格力在塞欧尼花了几乎自己的一生跟棕熊巴卢学习这守则,当孩子对这接二连三的规则不耐烦时,
        
who told him, when the boy grew impatient at the constant orders, that the Law was like the Giant Creeper, because dropped across every one's back and no one could escape. "When thou hast lived as long as I have, Little Brother, thou wilt see how all the Jungle obeys at least one Law. And that will be no pleasant sight," said Baloo.
 

巴卢告诉他,规则就像巨晰一样,因为它可以爬过每个人的后背却无人能逃过。巴卢还说:“当你活到我这个年纪时,小子,你会看到森林怎样遵守着至少一个规则。虽说那将是不愉快的事。” 

 

 

 

 

 

galas - 2004-12-1 22:03:00

第二部丛林故事

 

恐惧从何而来

小溪萎缩----- 池塘干涸,

我们同病相怜----你和我;

下颚发热,灰尘满身

我们在岸边挤来挤去;

但干旱的恐惧使我们停止了拥挤,

索取或捕猎的想法都已被抛到脑后。

母亲怀中的幼鹿能看到,

瘦弱的狼群像他一样惊恐,

高大的雄鹿毫不畏缩看着

那曾撕碎他父亲喉咙的狼牙。

池塘变浅------小溪干涸,

我们都成了玩伴----你和我,

直到远方出现云彩----- 捕猎愉快!-----进攻吧

雨水打破了我们的旱季停战。

 

丛林法则是古往今来这世上最古老的法则,它安排着几乎所有丛林居民将经历的事情,到目前为止,它的规则就像时间一样完美,它也可以被习俗所塑造。如果你已深入地读过了莫格利的故事,你会记得他在西诺伊狼群中度过了他生命中的大部分时光,他从灰熊巴罗那里学习丛林法则;当这男孩对无休止的命令感到不耐烦时,巴罗就告诉他,这法则就像个大藤蔓,因为它会爬过每个人的后背,无人可以逃脱。“当你的生命像我这样长的时候,小兄弟,你会看到,这个丛林是如何服从至少是一个法则的。但是,那并不是件让人快乐的事。”巴罗说。

kaythomas - 2004-12-4 15:22:00
     我不建议你用文曲星和词霸查生词来翻这样的作品.还有,最好通读全故事后再翻,因为有些词等看全书后才知其意,比如"巨晰",是怎么来的?看了后面你就知道,这里不是这个东西.第一首诗很难理解,也难翻,我想了很久才做成那样,建议你再考虑一下.
"当你活到我这个年纪时" good translation  .不过不要翻成"小子",很难听,也不对,还是"小兄弟"最好.
  
         还有,我不是key,而是kay.
galas - 2004-12-5 4:30:00
    key啊,好的建议.    那个巨晰是我猜的,词典说是爬行动物,没说什么具体的.
   是的,我已经花了大价钱买了一本双解词典.就是翻起来麻烦.
   第一首诗是不是像中国古代的小说之类的来个首诗,有点全文的意思?
   关于"小子",我以为不用"小兄弟"的好,后边的那个"man-什么"就可以翻成"人子"了.再说不知道这家伙是不是像泰山,我觉得"森林居民"有点小瞧他的味道,还有说他"左耳进,右耳出"所以就"小子"了.也挺顺的.我觉得蛮好.
 
   最后,key是昵称,亲着呢!
 
kaythomas - 2004-12-5 8:52:00
此文中诗基本是统.
"小兄弟",必须这样翻,看了全文你就知道了.
kaythomas的昵称也不是key, 不过你要想这样叫随意好了.
还有,最好不要乱翻,这毕竟是大家的作品,虽是套着儿童故事的壳,但用词典雅,意境悠长.
weilin - 2004-12-6 0:45:00

Kaythomas Galas 的译文各有所长,忍不住也试译一小段:

 

原文:
The Law of the Jungle--which is by far the oldest law in the world--has arranged for almost every kind of accident that may befall the Jungle People, till now its code is as perfect as time and custom can make it. You will remember that Mowgli spent a great part of his life in the Seeonee Wolf-Pack, learning the Law from Baloo, the Brown Bear; and it was Baloo who told him, when the boy grew impatient at the constant orders, that the Law was like the Giant Creeper, because it dropped across every one's back and no one could escape. "When thou hast lived as long as I have, Little Brother, thou wilt see how all the Jungle obeys at least one Law. And that will be no pleasant sight," said Baloo.

 

译文:

 

丛林之道是迄今世上最古老的法规,它几乎摆布了所有落在丛林子民身上的不测。岁月和习俗的炼磨,使这部法规的每条准则如今变得天衣无缝。还记得莫格利花了大半辈子在西奥尼野营地向绰号叫棕熊的巴卢学习这部法规的经历吧。莫格利还是小孩时,对丛林日复一日的平静开始不耐烦,巴卢便告诉他,这丛林的法规有如一张巨型的藤蔓,一旦谁让它缠上,谁就无法摆脱。巴卢还说:“小老弟,你活到我这把年纪,就会至少目睹到一次整个丛林是怎样在这部法规下屈膝就范,那可不是一副祥和的画面。”

 

还未读全文。恐怕读完全文,这里有些字句还需要重译。

 

galas - 2004-12-6 21:00:00
  This talk went in at one ear and out at the other, for a boy who spends his life eating and sleeping does not worry about anything till it actually stares him in the face. But, one year, Baloo's words came true, and Mowgli saw all the Jungle working under the Law.
  It began when the winter Rains failed almost entirely, and Ikki, the Porcupine, meeting Mowgli in a bamboo-thicket, told him that the wild yams were drying up. Now everybody knows that Ikki is ridiculously fastidious in his choice of food, and will eat nothing but the very best and ripest. So Mowgli laughed and said, "What is that to me?"
  "Not much NOW," said Ikki, rattling his quills in a stiff, uncomfortable way, "but later we shall see. Is there any more diving into the deep rock-pool below the Bee-Rocks, Little Brother?"
  "No. The foolish water is going all away, and I do not wish to break my head," said Mowgii, who, in those days, was quite sure that he knew as much as any five of the Jungle People put together.
  "That is thy loss. A small crack might let in some wisdom." Ikki ducked quickly to prevent Mowgli from pulling his nose-bristles, and Mowgli told Baloo what Ikki had said. Baloo looked very grave, and mumbled half to himself: "If I were alone I would change my hunting-grounds now, before the others began to think. And yet--hunting among strangers ends in fighting; and they might hurt the Man-cub. We must wait and see how the mohwa blooms."
  That spring the mohwa tree, that Baloo was so fond of, never flowered. The greeny, cream-coloured, waxy blossoms were heat-killed before they were born, and only a few bad-smelling petals came down when he stood on his hind legs and shook the tree. Then, inch by inch, the untempered heat crept into the heart of the Jungle, turning it yellow, brown, and at last black. The green growths in the sides of the ravines burned up to broken wires and curled films of dead stuff; the hidden pools sank down and caked over, keeping the last least footmark on their edges as if it had been cast in iron; the juicy-stemmed creepers fell away from the trees they clung to and died at their feet; the bamboos withered, clanking when the hot winds blew, and the moss peeled off the rocks deep in the Jungle, till they were as bare and as hot as the quivering blue boulders in the bed of the stream.
  The birds and the monkey-people went north early in the year, for they knew what was coming; and the deer and the wild pig broke far away to the perished fields of the villages, dying sometimes before the eyes of men too weak to kill them. Chil, the Kite, stayed and grew fat, for there was a great deal of carrion, and evening after evening he brought the news to the beasts, too weak to force their way to fresh hunting-grounds, that the sun was killing the Jungle for three days" flight in every direction.
  Mowgli, who had never known what real hunger meant, fell back on stale honey, three years old, scraped out of deserted rock-hives--honey black as a sloe, and dusty with dried sugar. He hunted, too, for deep-boring grubs under the bark of the trees, and robbed the wasps of their new broods. All the game in the jungle was no more than skin and bone, and Bagheera could kill thrice in a night, and hardly get a full meal. But the want of water was the worst, for though the Jungle People drink seldom they must drink deep.
galas译:
  这话对一个除了吃就是睡不用为任何事操心,除非有事临到他头上的孩子来说,那无异于对牛弹琴。但有一年,巴卢的话实现了。莫格力看到了所有的森林生物服从在规则之下。
  故事起源于那个没有下一点雨的冬天。豪猪伊基在竹林里遇见莫格力并告诉他野山芋正在变蔫。现在谁都知道伊基是很可笑的挑食的家伙。他除了最好的熟透的食物其它的一概不吃。所以莫格力笑着回答他:“这与我有什么相干?”
  “现在还没啥,”伊基抖了抖他浑身坚硬的刚毛极不自然的说,“但我们以后会看到的,那现在还能在蜂石的岩池下跳水吗,小子?”
  “不,那愚蠢的水都跑掉了,我可不想撞破我的头,”莫格力说。这几天他觉得自己知道的比五个森林居民加起来的还多。
  “那是你的不足,一条小缝也会存留智慧的,”伊基急忙躲开以防莫格力拔他的鼻毛。莫格力告诉巴卢伊基说了什么。巴卢显得很沉重,半是回答半是自言自语的咕哝道:“如果我是一个人,我会乘着别人还没开始想这个问题立刻换换我的猎场。不过捕杀陌生的猎物却止于相互争斗。他们可能会伤到人子的。我们还是等着看莫瓦花会怎么样吧。
  转年春天,巴卢很欣赏的莫瓦树没有开花。微绿、奶白、蜡色的花儿们没等张出来就被炙热烤死了。当巴卢用后腿站立猛力摇树的时候,只有几片难闻的花瓣落下来。然后逐渐的,躁动的热浪蔓延到了森林的心脏(地带),让它变黄、变褐,最后变黑。山谷两旁的绿色植物让烧的卷曲着干枝条样子像死了一样。隐蔽的池水渐渐下沉最终干枯。水肉质的藤蔓从它们紧缠的树上掉下死在自己的脚前。竹林枯萎了,当热风吹过,它们便叮叮当当的响。森林深处的苔藓也从岩石上剥落,直到它们变得像溪水河床上颤颤的蓝石一样又光又烫。
  鸟儿和猴类早在年初就迁往北方了,他们知道什么会来临。鹿和野猪逃到了远在村子的废弃地里。干渴使得衰弱的人们对近在眼前的事物无动于衷。秃鹫基尔留下来发福了。因为这里有太多的腐肉做事物了。一夜接着一夜,他把新闻带给那些非常虚弱的没有力气去找新猎场的野兽们:用了三天时间,太阳就把森林的每个角落杀的片甲不留啊!
  莫格力从没有尝过真正饥饿的滋味。他只好重操三岁时挖怪味儿蜂蜜的旧业。他从荒芜岩石的蜂窝刮出那黑得像野李子的蜜来,干巴巴的糖上布满灰尘。他也捕猎,挖在树皮下的虫子;抢黄蜂的新窝;森林里所有的收获都很微薄。巴格拉一晚能捕杀三次还不能果腹。最难搞到的是水啊!森林居民们很少饮水,但他们每次都得喝饱。

kay译:
  这种话对于莫格利来说是一个耳朵进,一个耳朵出。因为,对于一个把生活都花在吃和睡上的孩子来说,他什么也不会担心,除非事情真正落到他头上。但是,有一年,巴罗的话应验了,莫格利看到整个丛林都遵循着法则运作着。
  事情始于冬天,当时整个冬天都没有下雨,豪猪伊克基在矮竹丛中碰到莫格利,告诉他野甘薯都在变干萎缩。谁都知道伊克基对食物是蠢极了地挑剔,他只吃最好的,熟透了的东西。因此莫格利笑着说:“这跟我有什么关系?”
 “现在还没多大关系,” 伊克基很不舒服地抽了抽他的长鼻子,“但不久就有关系了。你还能在蜜蜂岩下的石头池塘里潜水吗,小兄弟?”
 “ 不,那可恶的水都流走了,我可不想撞破我的头,”莫格利说。最近他自我感觉自己知道的东西比五个丛林所有居民加起来的还多。
 “这可是你的损失。一个小缝隙也许会让些智慧流进来。” 伊克基迅速跑进矮竹丛深处,以免莫格利拔他的鼻毛。莫格利把伊克基的话告诉了巴罗。巴罗看上去很严肃,他半自言自语地说:“如果只是我自己,我现在就会改变我的捕猎地,在别人开始想这个问题之前。但是——在陌生人中捕猎总会以争斗收尾;而且他们也许会伤害这个人类幼崽呢。我们等着看摩瓦树的开花情况了。”
  那个春天,巴罗如此喜爱的摩瓦树根本就没有开花。那些带着朦胧的绿色,像打上了一层腊那样闪光的花还没生出来就被炎热烤死了。巴罗立起后腿摇晃大树,只有几片味道难闻的花瓣飘下来。然后,暴躁的炎热一点一点地潜入了丛林深处,把丛林由绿色变成黄色,再变成褐色,最终变成了黑色。山谷中生长的绿色植物被烤成了灰;隐秘的池塘水在消退,最终烤干,只在池塘的边缘留下最后的痕迹,好象是水碰到了烙铁;多汁的藤蔓从它们依附的树上跌落,死在树下;竹子枯萎,当热风吹起时,哐哐作响。丛林深处,石头上苔藓的剥落,直到最后它们都变得像河床里颤抖的蓝色砾石一样又光又热。
  鸟儿和猴子们今年早些时候就去北方了,他们知道会发生什么;鹿和野猪们冲出丛林,跑到远处人类村庄周围被废弃的田地里死去,有时他们就死在人类的眼前,那些人类也虚弱极了,都没力气杀死他们。秃鹫基尔留了下来,还长胖了,因为有足够的动物死尸给他吃。每晚,他都给那些虚弱得已经没有力气寻找新猎食地的野兽带来消息说,这三天,太阳跑向丛林的各个方向,它正在杀死丛林。
  莫格利以前从来不知道真正的饥饿意味着什么,现在,他得依靠已经干了三年的蜂蜜生活了。他从被遗弃在岩石中的蜂窝中把蜂蜜掏出来——这蜂蜜都黑得像黑刺李,里面的糖干得像灰尘。他也捕猎,在树干下挖掘藏在很深地里的蛴螬,从马蜂窝里抢出幼卵。丛林里所有的捕猎不过是皮和骨头,巴格拉一个晚上能猎杀3次,但还是几乎难以果腹。但对水的需要是最糟糕的,因为尽管丛林居民喝水次数不多,但他们必须喝足。

 
weilin - 2004-12-18 16:30:00
从上下文看,diving这里是跳水而不是潜水的意思. A small crack might let in some wisdom这句话带讽刺的口吻,也许可以译成"撞出一个小口子,智慧才进得去".或者"撞得脑袋开花,才会开窍哪".
"fell back on stale honey, three years old"这句中的three years old,  我的理解也是三年旧的蜂蜜, Galas译成"他只好重操三岁时挖怪味儿蜂蜜的旧业", 是不是Jungle Book I里有说道.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
kaythomas - 2004-12-14 8:38:00
OK, keep trying. Send you a German motto I love best Uebung macht Meister( practice makes perfect)^_^
1
查看完整版本: HOW FEAR CAME(galas试译)