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wayyeah - 2004-5-27 14:06:00
内容举例,谢谢网友收集:

blessed realm=“快乐王国”

Celegorm the fair = 仙人 Celegorm (明明是“俊美的Celegorm”,转眼升了仙)

the Straight way = 阳关大道

Beleg Strongbow= “铁弓”Beleg……

children of Hurin = Hurin的独生女

Elves of Nargothrond = 鬼鬼祟祟的家伙

...and seen the face of the world sink below them, and so had come to the lamplit quays of Avalloe = “看见了海底世界的真面目,走上阿瓦洛内灯光照耀的码头”(原来Avalloe是在海底啊,怪不得需要灯光照耀。。。)

Then the days of Gondolin were yet full of joy and peace;
Gondolin“一派歌舞升平的大好景象”“歌舞升平”难道不是个贬义词么……


But Ungoliant had grown great, and he less by the power that had gone out of him; and she rose against him, and her cloud closed about him, and she enmeshed him in a web of clinging thongs to strangle him.
可是Ungoliant已经变得十分强大,Morgoth因为东奔西跑力量大不如前;她飞身跃起,轻扬两臂,一团黑色的云雾把Melkor紧紧包裹起来……

蜘蛛Ungoliant居然能“飞身跃起,轻扬两臂”?!!!


But in that hour Finarfin forsook the march, and turned back, being filled with grief, and with bitterness against the House of Feanor, because of his kinship with Olwe of Alqualonde; ...
"因为他和阿尔夸棱德的Olwe有血缘关系…"

Finarfin娶了Olwe的女儿,岳丈和女婿有“血缘关系”?!


nor leave them to the rash counsels of Feanor.
更不想就这样把他们交给生性鲁莽的Feanor

“草率决定”就被人搞成“生性鲁莽”。


We are threatened with many evils, and treason not least
我们被许多邪恶势力所威胁,最主要的是背叛……

明明是“不单单是背叛”……


But even as the trumpet sang and Feanor issued from the gates of Tirion a messenger came at last from Manwe, saying: Against the folly of Feanor shall be set my counsel only. Go not forth! For the hour is evil, and your road leads to sorrow that ye do not foresee. No aid will the Valar lend you in this quest; but neither will they hinder you; for this ye shall know: as ye came hither freely, freely shall ye depart. But thou Feanor Finwes son, by thine oath art exiled. The lies of Melkor thou shalt unlearn in bitterness. Vala he is, thou saist Then thou hast sworn in vain, for none of the Valar canst thou overcome now or ever within the halls of Ea, not though Eru whom thou namest had made thee thrice greater than thou art.

But even as the trumpet sang and Feanor issued from the gates of Tirion a messenger came at last from Manwe, saying:……
……信使一路风尘仆仆,赶到队伍前头,传达Manwe大帝的旨意……

哪里有什么“风尘仆仆,赶到队伍前头”……


No aid will the Valar lend you in this quest, but neither will they hinder you;for this ye shall know: as ye came hither freely, freely shall ye depart
那时,Valar将爱莫能助,但是我不会阻止你们。有一点,你们应该知道:Noldor精灵来去自由,我们绝无扣留之意。……

不分“我”和“我们”,不分 shall和should……

But thou Feanor Finwes son, by thine oath art exiled.
可是你,Finwe之子Feanor,不属此列。你妄用神名,已是被放逐之人。

明明是“因为你的誓言而被放逐”


not though Eru whom thou namest had made thee thrice greater than thou art.
尽管你认为Iluvatar把你造成了一个比现在的你强大三倍的精灵之王……

不分Eru和Iluvatar,那个“你认为”,“精灵之王”哪里来的???


…… of the battle of Ecthelion of the Fountain with Gothmog Lord of Balrogs in the very square of the King, where each slew the other,
Ecthelion和火魔巴尔洛格打得难解难分,血肉横飞,最后被对方杀死。

Ecthelion和Gothmog打的“血肉横飞”……这是哪里出来的!还有“very square of the King”和“Gothmog”又翻译到哪里去了???
同一个英雄Lord Ecthilion,在另一个故事里被翻译莫名其妙翻译成“家丁”,原书INDEX里说他是:
Echtelion - Elf-lord of Gondolin, who in the sack of the city slew and was slain by Gothmog Lord of Balrogs.
明明就是说Ec和Gothmog互相杀死了对方,译林居然翻译成:
Ecthelion 埃克塞林 冈多林的精灵王,城市陷落后,他曾大肆杀戮,最后被火魔巴尔洛格所杀。

“大肆杀戮”哑不知道哪里来的。同样的lord,刚才是“家丁”现在就是“王”,Gondolin除了Turgon没有有其他精灵王??


再看这句Finrod的话 “我起誓,并将付诸实施,否则天诛地灭。我不会娶妻生子,继承王位。”
原文:...and he said: An oath I too shall swear, and must be free to fulfil it, and go into darkness. Nor shall anything of my realm endure that a son should inherit.
哪里来的“天诛地灭”。


“第二天Turin从边境回来千洞之殿……”
原文:On the next day Saeros waylaid Turin as he set out from Menegroth to return to to marches...
from和to这也能搞错。


In that hour the voice of Feanor grew so great and so potent that even the herald of the Valar bowed before him as one full-answered,
as one full-answered被翻译吃掉了


Much it foretold in dark words
他的预言大多是“黑话”……

And Maedhros answered: But how shall our voices reach to Ilúvatar beyond the Circles of the World? And by Iluvatar we swore in our madness, and called the Everlasting Darkness upon us, if we kept not our word. Who shall release us?
唯一神 Iluvatar居然被翻译成“他老人家”,“called the Everlasting Darkness upon us”翻译成“天打雷劈”……。

"Alas, for the weakness of the great! For a mighty king is Gil-galad, and wise in all lore is Master Elrond, and yet they will not aid me in my labours. Can it be that they do not desire to see other lands become as blissful as their own? But wherefore should Middle-earth remain for ever desolate and dark, whereas the Elves could make it as fair as Eress?a, nay even as Valinor? And since you have not returned thither, as you might, I perceive that you love this Middle-earth, as do I. Is it not then our task to labour together for its enrichment, and for the raising of all the Elven-kindreds that wander here untaught to the height of that power and knowledge which those have who are beyond the Sea?

Sauron:“真是聪明一世糊涂一时!吉尔格拉德王虽然英明伟大,埃尔隆德大师虽然学识渊博,可他们竟然不愿意帮助我改天换地。依我看,他们是不想看到别的地方也像他们那儿那样美丽、富庶,难道不是吗?各位精灵兄弟本来可以把中洲大地建设得像埃雷赛阿,甚至像瓦里诺那么繁华,为什么非要让它永远荒凉,贫穷落后呢?你们本来也可以到那儿过衣食无忧的日子,可是没去。由此可见,诸位跟我一样,都热爱这块土地,所以,我们应该团结起来,以建设中洲为己任,逐步提高一直在这里流浪的精灵的文化水平,让他们像大海那边的精灵一样孔武有力,知识渊博。……"

"....由此可见,诸位跟我一样,都热爱这块土地,所以,我们应该团结起来,以建设中洲为己任,逐步提高一直在这里流浪的精灵的文化水平"
他是不是一边看新闻一边翻译的?……

最强的是诗歌翻译:

原文:

He chanted a song of wizardry,
Of piercing, opening, of treachery,
Revealing, uncovering, betraying.
Then sudden Felagund there swaying,
Sang in a song of staying,
Resisting, battling against power,
Of secrets kept, strength like a tower,
And trust unbroken, freedom, escape;
Of changing and shifting shape,
Of snares eluded, broken traps,
The prison opening, the chain that snaps.
Backwards and forwards swayed their song.
Reeling foundering, as ever more strong
The chanting swelled, Felagund fought,
And all the magic and might he brought
Of Elvenesse into his words.
Softly in the gloom they heard the birds
Singing afar in Nargothrond,
The sighting of the Sea beyond,
Beyond the western world, on sand,
On sand of pearls on Elvenland.
Then in the doom gathered; darkness growing
In Valinor, the red blood flowing
Beside the Sea, where the Noldor slew
The Foamriders, and stealing drew
Their white ships with their white sails
From lamplit havens. The wind wails,
The wolf howls. The ravens flee.
The ice mutters in the mouths of the Sea.
The captives sad in Angband mourn.
Thunder rumbles, the fires burn-
And Finrod fell before the throne.


台湾版本,虽然不完美,但是意思差不多:
他念起巫师的咒语,
要刺透、敞开、诱出背叛,
要揭发、暴露、泄漏秘密。
刹那间费拉刚随之摇摆
吟诵定心之歌来回应,
坚持、奋力抵挡魔咒之力,
守住秘密,屹立不摇如塔,
信任未破,自由闪避;
改变情况,扭转劣势,
躲避圈套,破解陷阱,
囚牢敞开,捆锁断裂。
他们的吟诵一来一回地较劲。
摇摇摆摆,拉拒对抗,力道越来越强
魔咒不断增强,费拉刚全力反抗,
他运用所有精灵的力量与异能
注入他所念诵的词语。
在迷蒙中,他们听见轻柔的鸟语
在遥远的纳国斯隆德吟啼,
更远处有大海在叹息,
海那一方的西方世界里,沙滩上
啊,珍珠沙滩上有精灵的家乡。
迷雾又聚集,黑暗骤升起
在维林诺,鲜血淌满地
就在大海旁,诺多杀害
白浪骑乘儿,偷取白船与白帆
驾离海港的灯光。狂风哭号,
野狼咆哮,乌鸦振翅逃。
坚冰在大海口中嘎吱叫。
俘虏在安格班中忧伤悲悼。
雷声隆隆,火光轰轰——
芬罗德在黑座前仆倒。


而译林的:
索隆呼风唤雨,
巫术之歌,锋芒毕露。
开膛剖肚,大刑伺候,(恶寒)
坦白交代,卖主求荣!(精灵王Finrod要卖什么主呀?)
费拉冈德以歌作答,
精灵智慧,又展宏图。
守口如瓶,坚持战斗,
冲出牢狱,争取自由。
两军对垒,歌声如潮,
你进我退,此起彼伏。
夜幕低垂,黑暗如磐,
费拉冈德再现身手,
魔法奇术,玩于掌股。
惜哉,神兵千里,刀枪入库,
惟有纳戈斯隆德百鸟啁啾。
惊涛拍岸,白沙依旧,
精灵王国,又结新仇。(明明是回忆弑亲之战后Noldor抢劫Teleri精灵的船,哪里来的“又结新仇”)
瓦里诺鲜血横流,
诺尔多滥杀无辜。
抢走白船,毁灭珍珠,(毁灭珍珠?!)
孤帆远影,沧海横流。(Noldor强走了数条船,什么“孤”呀)
北风呼啸,狼号鬼哭。
乌鸦呱呱,匆匆逃走,(我也看得要匆匆逃走了)
海口之冰,嘎扎作响,
安戈班恩德,链锁囚徒。
电闪雷鸣,大火冲天。
宝座尘封,光辉不再,(胡扯!)
费拉冈德,一命呜呼。(Finrod被翻译杀死了……后面的故事里他又死了一次……)


(本文要转请随意)
wayyeah - 2004-5-27 14:11:00
虽然我没有这人那么憎恨它,但我实在受不了“小精灵”“小矮人”和成堆的错字!虽然我不敢保证其他的版本比译林的优秀,但至少,国内著名的出版社不应该犯这样的错误!不应该把托尔金先生的作品翻译后连一点奇幻色彩都没有的所谓奇幻作品!这样是对托尔金先生非常不尊重!
希望译林能做出专业的更正,否则托尔金先生真的在九泉下气得吐血了!
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